In this week’s look at the funny, the scary and just plain weird passages in humanity’s holy text, we revisit the wonderful misogynistic world of Islam. This passage this week comes from the Qur’an, from Chapter 4, Verse 34, Sahih International Translation:
Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.
So basically men are in charge of their wives and have authority over their money. If your wife disagrees with you or challenges you or argues with you or looks at you funny, you should, in the following order:
- Preach at her like a self-righteous douchebag about how she’s essentially another child or farm animal, because your imaginary friend says so. She’s just a piece of property that cooks, cleans and has sex with you.
- Withhold sex from her, so you can pretend that not getting laid was your idea.
- Smack that bitch, because you’ve lost the argument. Asshole.
And the worst part is that it’s even worse than that. She doesn’t even need to be “arrogant.” Her husband just needs to “fear” that she is. So, yeah. Go to town, you violent, insecure, bullies! Even if you had a right to strike your wife — and you don’t — she doesn’t have to do anything to earn that beating. You just have to be a paranoid jerk.
But I guess it could be worse. The Qur’an does tell the dude to stop hitting her if she starts obeying again. That’d just be overkill, I guess.