Ask An Atheist

This is more about my experience as an observer among the believers but stay with me.
I’m a Brit and an atheist. I believe I’ve been an atheist since before the age of 8 as I have a memory of standing in the morning assembly for prayers at the Church of England primary school I attended. I can remember being surrounded by bowed heads and clasped hands and knowing that I was not one jot a part of any of it.
My GF is, on paper at least, a Catholic. But that’s not all of it. She hails from the Emerald Isle, so not only is she a Catholic, she’s an Irish Catholic. To add to that she is also a “rural”, irish catholic with parents of limited education and with aunts and uncles who are nuns and priests. She was slow in telling her parents she was seeing an Englishman, let alone seeing an atheist.
When we got together she was a regular Church-goer and a participant in the life of her church. She was a eucharistic minister, regular reader, helped the elderly to church etc. Her parents back in Ireland would quiz her on the phone as to whether she was going to church and if she was “being a good girl”.
Her faith began to be eroded four years ago when she was diagnosed with MS. It hit very quickly and very hard, putting her into a wheelchair less than a month after diagnosis. She has been quite stable since though there have been some terrible episodes.
Since then her religion has been a never ending source of disappointment.
eg. The tacit sanctioning of child rape and other clerical abuse.
Close relatives telling her that the reason she’s not walking is her lack of faith.
Not being visited once by any of her church during the 12 weeks she spent in the local hospital physio rehab unit.
One of her aunts, a nun, Mother Superior of her order gave her a copy of “The Shack” (what a filthy rag) to “explain” things to her.

She does her best to console herself with her idea of “Jesus the just-a-nice-guy” but the satisfaction factor is missing.

Her religion has been of no help in the ordeal at all, be it spiritual or practical. I’ve done and am doing what I can. She genuinely believed in prayer but has learned to rely on my back and upper-body strength instead.
Now the thing is that in all this I’ve gotten the vibe that I’m the embarrassment. Not for my GF but for her extended family. I’m the Godless one acting counter to expectations and quietly making them look bad.
What I would like really is any ideas for helping her get through this. In “The God Delusion” Dawkins invites the reader to atheism with “The water is cold but its refreshing”. That’s all very well if you get to paddle out at your own speed. Sometimes people get pushed in the deep end.