Ask An Atheist

We get a lot of comments on our Facebook page from random people, and occasionally we get the odd “hit and run” theist, believer or New Agey type who wants to blow our collective minds with what they think is a debate-ending question.

Y’know, the verbal equivalent of Hulk Hogan’s Big Leg Drop. The sort of brain melting stumper that would just leave us standing there with a bit of drool on our chins. But, most of the time, it’s just a pointless rhetorical query with a lot of poetic pizazz and no real substance or point to it.

Basically all empty brain calories, but very pretty sounding. A bunch of words that make sense individually, but are arranged in a way that sounds profound, but has little discernable meaning. The  sort of woo-woo nonsense that Deepak Chopra peddles for a living.

Last Thursday, a rather beardy gentleman who listed the afore-mentioned Mr. Chopra as one of his “people who inspire [him] ” posted the following question on our Facebook Wall:

Why don’t you want God to be real? Read the rest of this entry »

In this week’s look at the funny, the scary and just plain weird passages in humanity’s holy text, is a special one. It even has a soundtrack! Today we revisit Christianity’s weird sexual hang-ups. This passage this week comes from Ezekiel 23:19-20, New International Version:

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. ²⁰ There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

*ahem*

Bet you didn’t know that was in the Bible.

It’s things like this that make me laugh whenever an uptight and repressed Christian group is puffing out their collective chests out and fighting to ban certain books from public libraries and take certain television shows off of the air because of their…ribald or violent nature.

So, whenever I hear some self-righteous brother or sister in Christ lament about how we have to think of the children! The Children! – I can’t help but think about how chock full of sex and violence their own Bibles are, and how they don’t seem to worry about their kids being exposed to men with donkey genitals or genocide or incest or any of the other fun stuff to be found in their morally perfect and inerrant holy book.

And the next time you hear a Christian pontificate about how awful and immoral this book or that television show is, tell them two words: Donkey genitals.

If you have a passage of holy scripture that you find funny, scary or just plain weird, send it our way. Whether it’s from the Bible, the Qur’an, the Bhagavad Gita, the Book of Mormon, or even Dianetics, click on the big, red, shiny button at the top of the page and we may even read it on the show!

Alright, maybe the cake is a lie.

As we’ve previously mentioned on today’s show and on our Facebook page, Ask an Atheist now has a web forum!

It’s the place to discuss and debate not only the newest — or oldest episodes — of our radio show, but a place to interact with Ask an Atheist cast and crew, and to start and join conversations on topics we don’t always find the time to cover on our program.

Sign up now and you’ll be able to brag to all of the uncool people years from now that you were a member of the forum before we sold out and went all corporate.

In this week’s look at the funny, the scary and just plain weird passages in humanity’s holy text, we revisit the wonderful misogynistic world of Islam. This passage this week comes from the Qur’an, from Chapter 4, Verse 34, Sahih International Translation:

Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband's] absence what Allah would have them guard. But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance – [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.

So basically men are in charge of their wives and have authority over their money. If  your wife disagrees with you or challenges you or argues with you or looks at you funny, you should, in the following order:

1. Preach at her like a self-righteous douchebag about how she’s essentially another child or farm animal, because your imaginary friend says so.  She’s just a piece of property that cooks, cleans and has sex with you.
2. Withhold sex from her, so you can pretend that not getting laid was your idea.
3. Smack that bitch, because you’ve lost the argument. Asshole.

And the worst part is that it’s even worse than that. She doesn’t even need to be “arrogant.” Her husband just needs to “fear” that she is. So, yeah. Go to town, you violent, insecure, bullies! Even if you had a right to strike your wife — and you don’t — she doesn’t have to do anything to earn that beating. You just have to be a paranoid jerk.

But I guess it could be worse. The Qur’an does tell the dude to stop hitting her if she starts obeying again. That’d just be overkill, I guess.

ABOVE: Action Comics vol. 2, #1, DC Comics 2011, written by Grant Morrison, art by Rags Morales.

It’s not often that two things I love so much get packaged together in one glorious news story. It’s like someone getting their chocolate in my peanut butter. It’s this case somebody got their whiny self-martyring Christian whackadoo story into my story about comic books.

Now, I make no secret of how much I love comics. I can hardly let an episode of “Ask an Atheist” pass without making a passing reference to Aquaman, but it’s really a rarity for my two favorite hobbies — comic books and atheist activism — to cross paths.  They now have, thanks to a North Carolina comic shop owner.

The owner of the aptly-named “Comic Conspiracy” threw a huge fit on Facebook when something Superman said in the newly relaunched Action Comics #1 offended his tender Christian feelings.

As a result, the retailer was threatening to boycott not only the new Action Comics series, but all titled penned by popular series writer, Grant Morrison, because in the issue Superman apparently commits the ultimate sin and… *gasp*…blasphemes.

Wait. What?

“Christian comic book readers and shop owners,” the retailer bloviates. “Join us in the Grant Morrison Boycott. Action Comics #1 is a slap in the face to Superman, Christians and Superman creators Siegel and Shuster!!”

Now I have a copy of this comic and when I saw the headline, I was completely confused. I honestly couldn’t think of anything particularly blasphemous in the issue. I mean, sure, it’s a unorthodox story about a younger Man of Steel that draws a lot from his earliest appearances back in the 1930s. He’s young, reckless and  tends to focus his anger on bullies that exploit the little guy, but I missed the part where he tweaked his nose at Christianity. Because I probably would have giggled at it.

The retailer isn’t giggling. Read the rest of this entry »